Decidophobia

Decidophobia is the fear of making decisions. Without Guilt & Justice, by Walter Kaufmann, details the condition in which we strive for, yet fear, autonomy.

His famous declaration in 1943 that man is “condemned to be free” suggests clearly that man finds freedom hard to bear. In his fiction and philosophy, Sartre has exposed some of the ways in which people try to hide their freedom from themselves: they pretend that their hands are tied, that they are the victims of their parents or of circumstance, although in fact the freedom to make fateful decisions is inalienable.

Scanning through some of the chapters, I found this to resonate with my past year and a half after finishing my undergraduate degree. It’s very obvious how fortunate I am to have the opportunity to pursue what I please, but the level of freedom seemed overwhelming at times. I often avoided doing anything at all.

The creative life involves alienation from others and from society. This alienation will sometimes be experienced as acutely painful, but when one is creative that price does not seem too steep. When one’s creative powers flag and one is dissatisfied with one’s own work, it may not seem worth it. At such times, when one is not creative, one may actually envy those who live a very different kind of life, endow them with a bliss they do not feel, and thus deceive oneself. But when one is creative, one would not change places with anyone – except possibly one who is more creative.