My cab driver approves of interracial fucking

A swift 4 hours and 39 minutes of air time on an empty 7am Virgin America flight to JFK left me a bit dazed and confused, especially when at touch down, New York air temperature was at about 26º. My usual airport fan fare involves 20 minutes of shuffling my terrible Cantonese to a Mandarin speaking cab driver from WK Limo, some cheapo Chinese town car service located on Allen street. After huddling for about 25 minutes, I got into the cab and started to go through the motions of Chinglish again.

Me: Two Zero Three Souuuuuu(f) Three Street

Cabbie: What the fuck are you saying? Ah too zelo tree?

They usually give a chuckle when I apologize for my lack of Mandarin speaking skills, and go through the details of how I’m from San Francisco and my family is from Hong Kong. For some reason this guy starts talking about whether or not where I live is dangerous.

Cabbie: Where you live… do you have a lot of… blacks?

Me: Umm… no not particularly… it’s got a lot of people in general.

Cabbie: Do you like… Gee.. Gee or ge… Bush?

Me: Why?

Cabbie: I like-a… you know?… woman… white woman president?

Me: Oh, you mean Hillary Clinton.

Cabbie: You don’t like Hillary Clinton?

Me: I like Obama.

Cabbie: You just like my son, no like woman.

At that point, he hands me a pack of cigarettes and offers me a smoke. Puffing away on his own fag before I could turn down his offer, the car filled with smoke as the sun glared around the overpasses on the BQE and into his eyes. He fumbled with the GPS all while ignoring the flow of traffic or the car ahead of our lane. Soon after, he yelled ‘Shit!’ a dozen or so times after the GPS began speaking in German. ‘Shit… do you know how to fix this piece of shit?‘ he asked. At that point he was already on to another subject.

Cabbie: Yesterday I take man to Atlantic City, drive 2 half 3 (hours)… pay tree hundred! His girlfriend very pretty. Beautiful. You know girl from China? Come to Amelica, so beautiful, nice skin, soft eyes, so nice.

Me: Sure.

Cabbie: Girl from Amelica, even nicer. If they go find Amelican… *makes a hole with index and thumb and puts his finger through it*… and fuck… fucking… make very beautiful baby.

Me: Ummmm watch out we’re drifting into another lane.

I felt a little bad that I wasn’t going to Atlantic City.

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